Whenever this question is asked -Who is to Blame for the Poor Examination Performances of Students in Nigeria? – answers are often limited to students and teachers. It is either the student or the teacher that would take the fault. Or, the fault may be shared, that the students take 75 percent of the blame while the teacher takes 25 percent. Only to a negligible extend would one hear of parents of the students sharing in the blame. On a list of possible causes of failure, sometimes or in fact several times we hear of poor or inadequate teaching facilities. How can those non-human facilities be faulted. Somebody is supposed to provide the needed facilities. So, why are the government and school administrators always left out in this matter? This discussion is centred on these three personalities.
In history, we hear of Ben Carson and the situation surrounding his eventual success. Even the school almost felt they could not help anymore. That would have meant something disastrous in the life of Carson and his family. However, his mother was determined to change the story of her son. She encouraged and tutored him. He felt encouraged, and surprisingly he began to top his class; and today, his name is resounding in history. If you ask me, I would say some parents have been the main cause of their children’s misfortune, though they blame either the child or the school. You may ask how, but there are several ways that parents have contributed to the poor performances of their children.
Parents force their children to take a line of study they would not want to take.
It is often assumed that as a parent, you know better what is best for your child. That may be true. But sometimes what you claim to know as best for your child is actually best for you, not the child. You see the child only as a tool; an extension of yourself which you will use to achieve what you personally could not achieve in life. For instance, a parent who wanted to become a medical doctor but could not make it would try to use the child to achieve it. The pride and comfort of achievement all go back to him. At the end, he is pursuing his own goal not the child’s. Now, because the child has his or her own interest, the pain of subjection makes them rebellious and would not pay attention in school to earn good grade. I hear of a man who after completing his study at the university, gave the certificate to his father, and went back to school to study a course of his choice. Your own child may simply reject schooling completly.
Parents get so selfish that they don’t realise that when the family is not experiencing peace, the students are not emotionally balance which in turn affects their concentration in school.
Conflicts in homes could have a terrible effect on the educational performance of a child. No matter the advice the parents give, the child would not make sense of it. All the child needs is to see his or her parents living in harmony. But the parents could always feel that that is their personal problem not the child’s. That is a deception. A father who tries to keep a child from his mother for whatever reason or a mother who tries to keep her child from his father is only building hell around the child. No matter your differences, the child is not part of it. He or she needs their father and mother. The child should not be deprived of that complete parent-child relationship. Can you please make peace just for the sake of your child?
Parents get so busy that they don’t monitor their children’s progress in school.
When a parent shows interest in the progress of a child, the child is encouraged to work harder to perform better in whatever he or she does. And on the other hand if the parents don’t show interest, the child psychologically feels that the education is after all not important. Parents should check their children’s works and advise them on how to do better and improve on their academic performances. A child whose parents monitor his performance enjoys learning and does better than a child who does not get such attention. Parents should be busy both for themselves and their children. In that way they will get the best of the children. The way you lay your bed, so you will lie on it.
It is the duty of the parents to give the child the right training that would enable them to respect and listen to their teachers.
Parents sometimes leave parental training to teachers in school. But the truth is that a teacher cannot perform parental duty to another person’s child. If the parental touch is missing in a child, the teacher cannot fix it. Parental relation alone has its effect. If the child cannot respect his parents at home due to the parent’s negligence, it is very likely that he would do worse to his teacher. The teacher is also a parent and should observe his parental duties to his own children. If parents give their children the right training, it will be easy for the teacher to understand them and teach them. A parent may train his child with the rod. If the child gets injured in the process, he takes him to the hospital. But what happens if a teacher causes a child to sustain injury in the name of parenting? You know what will follow don’t you?
Some parents allow the children to have absolute power of decision even at ages they are likely to make wrong decisions.
It is important that parents are able to have good control over their children’s attitudes and decisions. This is not a contradiction, it only points to the fact that as parents you have to be extra careful as you train your child. This is to say that you should know when your child’s decision is wrong and the right approach to address it. You must insist at some points to make sure that does not always have his way. This way, the child does not become proud and disrespect his teachers at school. Children with such liberty at home may not accept instructions at school so making them do their assignments becomes real problem.
Parents sometimes discourage children from performing well by insulting them over their performance which they consider not up to expectation.
It is not proper for parents to emphasise on the bad side of their children. If a child is not doing well, he should be encouraged to do well instead of cursing and insulting. Causes will attract the spirit of failure so that the child continues to fail. Insults will make the child not to accept mistakes and move on. He will keep his challenges secret such that he would not get help that would help him succeed.
Parents should not transfer their parental responsibilities in making their children succeed in school. A failed child is the child of a failed parent.It does not matter how you see it. You can do your best, but sometimes what you think is your best is nothing but your worst.